Anatomy of Perfection

Why is it that humans feel a need to claim territorial perfection? My big backyard. My terrific job. My fantastic family. But it doesn't stop there. We even feel a need to claim territory that isn't even ours. "I'm a leg man, I'm a boob man, I like big butts and I cannot..." We then make judgements, based on the territory that we have claimed as our own, to fit our idea of perfection. "You know what they say about a man and the size of his feet." (And if you don't, you are too young to be reading this....PUT IT DOWN!) I even had a friend tell me that she never worried about her size because, "....a man never appreciates more than a handful." To which I replied, "That's why I only go with men with big hands!" Then again...I'm kind of a handful. And of course you know the relationship between the size of a man's hands and the size of his feet......and if you don't....FOR THE LAST TIME PUT IT DOWN!

Personally, I feel the eyes have it. Imagine rolling over and Robert Downey Jr.'s eyes are looking at you still blurred from a peaceful slumber (you know the look...not the one elicited from Rohypnol), you glance up from dinner into the arched eyes of Sean Connery. Perhaps you turn around in the grocery store just in time to catch Johnny Depp wink at you? (Wow, is it hormones or is it hot in here?!)

They say the eyes are the window to the soul, but I'm confused...his or mine? If the eyes of George Clooney ever strayed my way, I'm quite certain my trying to see into his soul would be way, way, way down on the list of what my brain would be trying to do. Frankly, I believe after massive short circuiting, every neuron would go into hyper-drive trying to explain what might possibly happen to rest of my body if I was really really lucky. You know, kind of like those people on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange after some fool hit the wrong button. "BUY! SELL! GIVE IT ALL AWAY!!" (This is probably where those cute little paddle things, they use on doctor shows, would come into action.)

Yes dear reader, my money is on the eyes. And since love is blind and hope springs eternal...I'm just waiting for my hunk to see what perfection REALLY looks like!